Have you ever wondered what it takes to raise an INDIVIDUAL and not someone who either obeys or rejects everybody?
In real life, this is not that easy at all. We all naturally try to manipulate others instead of trying to understand them. Why? Because it’s easier. You “squash” the person, make him/her feel small and useless, and all done! Your child no longer has his / her own opinion and can easily be guided in any direction which is more comfortable for you. Sounds like “Heaven on Earth”?
Not exactly… This is only a temporary solution because “You will reap what you sow” (Galatians 6:7). So what will happen in the future? You don’t need to be a major psychic to figure this one out. There are two most common scenarios. Just in case you wondered why people have phobias and why psychologists suggest reliving painful scenes from your childhood, here is the answer:
- If you “break” your child, he/she will not amount to anything, will never be successful, or have a good quality relationship. Every person they meet, will treat like a “boss” and be miserable for the rest of their lives.
- If your child does not get “broken” by your manipulations, he/she might hold the anger inside, become rebellious and start hating all kinds of authority. These people are more likely to go into anything illegal, including crime.
Of course, not everything is so dull and your child does have a chance if his / her personality is strong enough. He/she may forgive you and move on with life, but it’s highly unlikely you will have a good relationship unless something changes.
We are all students on this planet and the sooner you realize this, the healthier your future relationships will be. Yes, it’s difficult and sometimes we need to mold and shape ourselves to accommodate the needs of others (please notice that we are talking about “needs” and not “wants”), but in the end, if you gave the world “the best you’ve got”, you will absolutely happy and satisfied with the life you lived.
So what are we dealing with here? We are dealing with a whole UNIVERSE, which is complicated and moody, but it’s not always his / her fault! Our bodies are made out of billions of cells that have a “civilization” of their own. People may act up when they feel pain or frustration, or simply did not go to the bathroom for a while!
Did you know that anger is caused by an excess amount of hormone called – adrenaline and it is something common that both humans and animals experience during intense stress or fear? So let’s look for the cause of fear and not fight the person’s reaction to it! Life by itself is a hard journey, let’s not complicate it.
Learning to cooperate with your child instead of trying to manipulate him or her is very important because with these “primitive” techniques you will eventually lose their trust and respect.
Unfortunately, getting through to your child with logic will not work either and it doesn’t matter how hard you try. Your arguments make no sense to them and your demands seem very unfair. Your children are looking for boundaries within your world but their life experience is way too short to understand you. What to do? No one really knows.
Every case is individual, every child is special, and every parent has a life going on and has to keep up with all the problems. But we do believe that if you have love in your heart for the child, you will find a compromising solution that will be good for both parties. In order to raise a healthy, smart, and confident individual, all your child really needs is to know that there is nothing in this world they can really do that will make you reject them, ever.
Everything will pass. Your kids will grow up and start remembering all the lessons you’ve taught them. So let’s take it easy and try to see beautiful moments of childhood when you can still laugh carelessly, love deeply, and cry whenever you feel like it…
Attention! All articles are for informational purposes ONLY and they are NOT a subsittue for a professional advice! The goal of this website is to provide readers with high-quality reviews of children’s books, which are our opinion only and no sponsorship from anybody is involved.
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