Disrespectful or rude behavior in teenagers is usually common as part of growing up. But that does not mean that you ignore every abusive behavior that comes your way. As a parent, we love our teenagers, and we want the best for them. But there are family rules that we would them to accept and follow accordingly, just as there are rules in the school or any other place.
When a teenager breaks those rules or shows rude behavior, as a parent, you must step in and make sure that there are consequences. It is okay to let your teens make some choices on their own, even when you think it is the wrong choice.
So, how do you deal with a difficult teenager?
1. Be A Role Model
Home is the first school for the children, and the first teacher is the parents. Therefore, everything that the children learn is from their family and surroundings. So, before you start regretting that your teen has turned out to be rude, ensure that you, as a parent, are a good role model to the child.
As a role model, you can model the kind of behavior you would like to see in your teen. In simple terms, you need to install a respectful behavior/attitude towards your teenager if you want them to be respectful towards you, as well.
Ideally, being a role model is something that should start early in your child’s life. When you are with your teen, try to speak and act the way you would want them to speak and act toward you.
2. Set Clear and Consistent Boundaries
Lack of boundaries is one of the most common causes of rude behavior in teenagers. Families in which the parents spoil their children and don’t enforce firm rules, tend to produce disrespectful teenagers.
Not to mention, sometimes teens try to push the set boundaries to see how their parents can respond. That’s why it is essential to establish clear and consistent boundaries, and ensure there are consequences when they break those boundaries.
For instance, if your teen breaks curfew, you can have him stay home the next weekend. If she disrespects you by telling you to shut up when she is on the phone, take the phone away from her for the rest of the day or weekend.
Typically, if you set substantial rules in your family, it will be almost inevitable to see disrespect in your teen. What I’m trying to suggest is that be consistent in your punishment, or your demands won’t be respected – but don’t be too harsh on your child.
3. If You Set Consequences, Follow Through on Them
As a parent, we always acknowledge the ethical behavior of our children, but we cannot remain silent when starting acting rude – and that’s why we must set consequences and follow through on them to encourage good behavior at all times.
The biggest mistake we always make as parents is threatening our teenagers with harsh consequences, and then we fail to act on them. Indeed, you have set boundaries in your family, which you expect to be followed, but you will have your teen testing you to see whether you still expect them to adhere to those boundaries.
That’s why it is essential you set the consequences and follow through on them. This will make your teen feel safer since they know there are boundaries that they should not close. As a result, your teen learns to trust you since they know that you are a man or a woman of your word.
Furthermore, if you set the consequences, make sure you clarify which behaviors are acceptable and which actions you cannot tolerate in the family. For example, explain that you won’t tolerate slamming doors or calling people names in your family.
4. Don’t Make It Personal – Stay Calm
It is very easy to get caught up in your emotions when dealing with a disrespectful teenager. This has happened to me more than once – when disciplining my kid, I get mixed in my own feelings, and it does not end well.
Instead of focusing on the behavior, I focus on the child – this only makes the matter even worse. When dealing with a disrespectful child, you need to focus on the behavior and not the child – stay calm and try to understand why your teen is acting the way he/she is.
Whenever your teen is giving you an attitude or talking back to you, try not to lose your cool so that you can be able to handle the situation well. You will not achieve anything when you start screaming and yelling at your teen for doing something that you did not like.
5. Be Clear About Your Role
As a parent, the most important role is to teach and encourage respectful behavior and how to make informed decisions. Teenagers have to learn and understand that whatever choice they make – whether good or bad – has consequences.
Help them grow into respectful and respectful adults in this increasingly challenging world. You should know that no matter how well you prepare your teenagers, they are going to make some mistakes at some point – and the important thing is to show them how they can learn from those mistakes.
6. Allow Your Teen to Face Natural Consequences
At some point, natural consequences are the best teachers. However, you should ensure the natural consequences will really your child a life lesson. If you aren’t familiar with natural consequences, they involve something which automatically results from the child’s actions.
An excellent example of natural consequences occurs when your teen refuses to do her homework. The consequence of not finishing the homework will be getting a zero or have to stay after school to have it completed.
As a parent, you should not step in to help her finish the assignment; this will ruin the lesson. Furthermore, if your son gets a speeding ticket, the consequence is that he must earn money to pay for the ticket.
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